do I have to be to believe these lies?!



Oh my word. Such unnecessary drama. Such bullshit. I can't even live MY life. I can't even enjoy MY happiness. Why is it necessary to drag people into this anymore? Everyone knows. Change is inevitable. As fucked up as this change is, it was still inevitable.

I want to postpone my life as of...say...five hours ago. I was complete. I was happy. I was alright. Now? Um...how to put this into a phrase of words that are eloquent as well as truthful...FUCK NO. Yeah. That works.

I want my happiness back. I want to go on living the way I lived five hours ago. I want to be alright again. Why does it have to be the ones that mean the most to you or are the most important to you to hurt you this way?

I feel really fucking sick. I just want to throw up. Word vomit, per chance. No, no writing tonight. No one should ever have to read how I feel right now. Which is why I'm thankful for dA. No one fucking cares about me, as long as I'm not a featured deviant. Which is perfectly fine for me. I'd rather be a no one than a someone right now.

The shit I feel tonight is nothing short of the most utter and complete worst I've ever felt in my short, pointless twenty years of existence. Why must I be? Why must I wake up tomorrow? No. I'm not all suicidal or emo-y. I'm just fucking hurt. Really fucking hurt.


I am a DIAMOND
Only to be CUT
By those who ARE
A part of ME


-xo Theo